


Such Stuff as Dreams are Made On

by Osmee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 03:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3159668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Osmee/pseuds/Osmee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The many times that Skye secretly wanted Melinda May to be her mom, and the one time Skye's hopes are validated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Such Stuff as Dreams are Made On

The first time May caught Skye staring at her, they had only just met. The girl had the good graces to look embarrassed, but she didn't look away.

"So how long have you been with SHIELD?" The girl asks casually, from the passenger's seat of the SHIELD vehicle just as May pulls up to the girl's van. It was still parked in the alleyway from which Coulson and Ward had snatched her. "Ten years? Twenty? Over twenty-four years?" 

The girl smiles casually, but her question is so specific, it raises a flag in May's mind. 

Rather than answer the girl's question, May flings the car door open. "C'mon. Coulson's waiting."

\---

After saving the hacker from the goon at the train station, the girl stares more often, usually when she thinks May isn't looking. She studies May's eyes, her nose, her ears, her profile. May wonders exactly what part of her inscrutable features the girl is trying to see.

She finds the attention unnerving. 

The girl is still a mystery to them. No last name, no birth certificate, no tax documents, not even a former place of residence. The girl claims she's twenty-four, but acts younger and older than her years.

It's not something she can mention to Coulson, though. He's so adamant about keeping the girl around the Bus. As if turning Agent Ward into a team-oriented social butterfly weren't enough of a project to keep him busy.

Fighting the urge to scowl, May heads into the cockpit to set their coordinates for Peru. The girl is already there, waiting. To her credit, she doesn't say anything until the Bus is cruising over the Pacific Ocean at a sufficient altitude. 

"So…May is your last name?" chirps the girl with no last name. "Are you Chinese?"

Keeping her eyes on the skies, May nods.

"That's not a common surname, is it, though?" Skye presses.

May doesn't bother to explain that "May" is merely her SHIELD name, a Romanized spelling of a childhood nickname. Their conversation drops off awkwardly. May hopes Skye might notice and go away. No such luck.

"Have you ever been to China?" Skye pipes up, after a long pause. "Had the chance to do some SHIELD fieldwork there?"

The girl is trying so hard to be casual, it's painful. Her elevated respiratory rate and dilated pupils give her away.

"Why do you want to know?" May finally says.

Skye blushes, but looks defiant. "I'm just making conversation. Getting to know you, now that we're colleagues. You don't have to be so defensive."

May simply continues to fly the plane. There's no need to have the last word. Eventually, Skye gets bored and leaves.

\--

After Skye plugs the missing cabin panel with a safety raft of all things and May regains control of the plane, they manage to hobble to the Slingshot to dump their cargo. The trip takes three times longer than expected.

On the last stretch of their flight, May feels a hand rest on her shoulder. It's too small and light to be Coulson's. 

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," says May, without turning around. 

"I didn't manage to, clearly," quips Skye in her flippant, sassy way. But her incessant fidgeting betrays her nonchalance. The floor of the cockpit practically vibrates as Skye shifts her weight back and forth. "I know you're amazing and, like, the Cavalry and everything, so it's stupid to even ask. But are you sure you're okay to fly the plane after Reyes knocked you out with that gas?" 

When May doesn't answer immediately, Skye hurries to fill the blank space. "I mean, we don't know what kind of substance they used. Could be dangerous. Maybe Simmons should do some bloodwork on you, just to make sure you're okay."

May shakes her head. "I've got it covered." 

Skye didn't look convinced.

"Thanks," May adds, in spite of herself. 

\---

If they had met under different circumstances or perhaps in a parallel universe, May thinks she might have liked Skye enough to let Skye like her back. But the girl's presence on the Bus is a liability. So even though she's wrapped most of the team--but especially Coulson--around her little finger, May keeps her distance and hopes the girl will tire of life as an agent and leave.

If May is reticent, Sky is anything but. During meals, she'll ask about May's childhood, or her opinion of Skye's outfits, or when May will prepare for the team her famous wonton noodle soup that Coulson keeps raving about? Other times, she'll corner May in the cockpit and try to drag May out for an episode of Doctor Who, the one where everybody's wearing gas masks and joking about mummies.

When May overhears an unusual conversation between the two girls, she wonders if she should do something to stem Skye's uncomfortable interest in her. 

At first, they're talking science, something Skye usually dismisses as geek babble. As Simmons answers Skye's questions about the surface antigens on red blood cells and how blood transfusions work, May briefly wonders if Skye is concerned whether the Bus has a sufficiently stocked blood bank, which they do.

Instead, Skye wants to know everybody's blood type. 

"Well," beams Simmons, "Ward and I are type A; Fitz is AB positive, the lucky boy; Coulson's B positive, which seems fitting; and you and May are type O."

"Is that rare, having the same blood type?" 

Simmons eagerly draws Skye a Punnett square to explain heredity. From the corner of her eye, May watches as the girl flashes Simmons a smile in response, big but brief. "I can't believe I never learned this in high school. Science can be so cool."

"Well, if you've any questions about biology, botany, zoology, psychology, physiology, chemistry, any questions at all, ask away," Simmons positively trills, looking genuinely pleased. "I think I explain physics and engineering in layman's terms better than Fitz, too, but don't tell him that."

Skye thinks for a second. "Yeah, actually. How does DNA testing work? Can you show me the next time you're doing a DNA match on someone?"

"It would be my pleasure. I've got a couple old blood samples lying around," Simmons says, grinning. "Ward may be your S.O. but we'll turn you into a scientist yet."

Skye groaned. "Could you just turn me into Melinda May instead, so I'll never have to do another push-up again?"

Simmons giggles. "If I could do that, I'd turn myself into Agent May first."

May scowls and walks away before she can frighten the girls by telling them all the reasons why they shouldn't ever want to be her.

\---

The next time May catches Skye prying, it's when she accidentally stumbled upon Fitz, Simmons, and Skye crowded around Skye's laptop. The three of them were so busy laughing, they didn't notice her presence.

"These are so bad, they're actually amazing," marvels Simmons, in the same tone she reserves for staring at freshly stained microscope slides. "I can't tear my eyes away!"

May hopes it's not porn Simmons is referring to.

"We might have a pack of PhDs, but you're the real genius to think of hacking the Academy archives like this," says Fitz generously, before they burst into another round of laughter.

"I'm so glad I don't remember the eighties," Skye cackles, as Simmons swats her and reminds her that she's only a nineties baby.

"Hey, go back, go back!" Fitz yelps, suddenly. "That's Coulson, with Agent May and Fury. Look how wide that 'fro is."

"Aw, baby May's rocking some serious bangs," Skye snickers. "And that gigantic bow thing. Who would have thought the Cavalry used to be so girly?"

"And look, May's smiling," Simmons points out, softly. "You guys kind of look alike when she smiles."

Skye studies the picture of May long and hard. "You think so?"

"Don't be racist," Fitz scoffs. "Now Skye, see if you can access the pictures from the Academy's Winter Ball circa 1985. I want to see if the rumors of Fury in a leather tux are true."

"Shush, Fitz," barks Skye, as she types a string of commands into her computer.

"Ooh, look, May at graduation. And May in uniform," coos Simmons each time a new picture is shown. "And May in a dress. She looks so happy, despite her terrible choice in clothes."

"Can we stop stalking Agent May," grumbles Fitz, rubbing his nose. "It's getting kind of creepy, especially since….she's standing right bloody there in front of me!"

As May tries to keep her poker face in place, she can see beads of sweat rolling down Fitz's forehead and Simmons twisting her palms together sheepishly in consternation. 

But Skye just slams her computer shut and snaps, "I know you're a super spy and all, but would it kill you to respect something called privacy?" Then with a huff, she grabs her computer and storms out of the room.

Fitz and Simmons exchange panic glances. "We should probably…"

"Pipette or calibrate something."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

May rolls her eyes as the pair make their hasty exits. 

Later, May never mentions the incident, and Skye pretends it never happened.

\---

Skye quickly warms up again, though. After a traumatic flight to the Sandbox, long after the team should be fast asleep, May hears a tentative knock at her door. She's surprised it's Skye, looking disheveled but wide awake. 

"I'm sorry to bother you," Skye stammers, even though May isn't even glaring. "But it's been several days now, and Jemma still wakes up screaming. I think she dreams about falling." Skye takes a deep breath. "I know that's a normal rite of passage for you SHIELD people, but I think she really needs someone who's lived through scary shit to reassure her because I've tried and I know I'm not qualified."

May throws on an old sweatshirt. "Put the kettle on. I'll be there in five." They end up camping out in the lounge that night, the three of them. They go through an entire package of chocolates, two boxes of tissues, and six mugs of Horlicks between them. 

May keeps a closer eye on Simmons, afterwards. Unfortunately, Skye mistakes May's attention for a desire to bond, and gets it into her head to organize a girl's night in for the three of them. It's an elaborate shindig, by the sound of it.

"We'll start with the BBC's Pride and Prejudice drinking game and then a round of Never Have I Ever followed by Truth or Dare. I'm making cupcake shots for the occasion. You will join us?"

"No." 

May doesn't know how she can be any more clear, but Skye doesn’t get the message. 

The next day, when she finds May and Simmons talking over tea and cookies without her, Skye flips out. "Do I need to die or something before I deserve your attention?"

Jemma looks concerned, like she's debating whether to run after Skye to apologize. 

"Should be the other way around," says May, under her breath, into her tea.

\---

After Ireland, Skye begins to avoid May. May can't figure out why. She worries that she scared Skye while under the effects of the Berserker staff. Her memories of that time are foggy at best.

To make things worse, Coulson begins to enlist her help in digging up information regarding Skye's past, a past so grim even SHIELD doesn't want to acknowledge it.

"I wish you hadn't dragged me into this," mutters May, as he hands her Skye's flash drive and the file he's pulled from the Hub. "I don't think Skye would appreciate you sharing her secret with me."

Coulson scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. She looks up to you. Hero-worships you, even."

Melinda grits her teeth. "That's not funny."

"You're right. Sorry," says Coulson, after a pause. Then his face shifts into a wistful half-smile. "It's just, it would mean so much to her. We're all she's got. Her family. Do you know, she calls us 'mom' and 'dad' when you're not around?"

"Don't encourage her. SHIELD's no replacement for a family."

Phil sobers up. "But we can help her find the truth. And you're admin. If anyone can find the original paperwork, it's you. Please."

Reluctantly, May nods. "I'll search the database. Make some phone calls. See what I can find."

"Thanks for doing this, May. I appreciate it." 

When May's expression remains unchanged, Coulson sighs and slowly lets himself out, leaving May to ponder what he has just said. 

Coulson's comment certainly explained Skye's behavior, both her fascination with May before and her determination to avoid May now. Sometimes, May wonders if she should clear the air between them once and for all.

Yes, Coulson told me your secret reason for joining SHIELD; no, I am not your mother; and no, I don't think any less of you for wondering. In fact, I didn't realize you potentially saw me in this light until Coulson leaked your secret. It's not exactly something she can say as casually as "wheels up in ten." 

So May says nothing and waits for it to blow over.

Meanwhile, Coulson comes to her more and more often about Skye's redacted file. May suppresses the urge to snap at him for not listening. That all her database searches have come up empty. That she's called her colleagues in administration so often, they won't pick up the phone when they see her number.

Most of all, she wants to snap that she's worried he'll refocus his wholehearted desire to find the truth of Skye's hidden past onto his growing concerns over his miraculous brush with death.

"The poor girl," Coulson sighs, as May bites her tongue. "Not knowing, especially about something so life-changing. It must eat away at her daily." 

The conversation is going exactly where she hopes it wouldn't.

"She deserves to know," continues Coulson, a faraway look in his eyes. "Even if it's classified, which usually means something terrible. Whatever happened, it's an essential part of who she is today. We've got to help her find out."

"Fine," says May, darkly, as she thumbs through Skye's file yet again for clues. "But these things stick with you, good or bad. There's no going back."

\---

Before she can find any more answers, though, things come to a head with Skye over the Hannah Hutchins case. As they consider what to do with Hannah and her apparent "skills," May still buzzes with leftover memories from her recent encounter with the Berserker staff. Her head's so full, it's easy to ignore Skye as she rants about May's shoot-first policy and her inhumane treatment of Hannah.

After they bring Hannah back to the plane a second time and make up a bed for the bewildered girl in the lounge area, May flees to the cockpit. From her sanctuary, she can hear Coulson's voice and then footsteps headed her way.

"Kind of creepy in the dark," comments not-Coulson, but Skye, as she sits down gingerly in the chair next to May's. "The power's still down but I could get some emergency lights in here for you. Fitz and Simmons have plastered a bunch into the corridors. It's almost cheerful, like Disneyland at night."

The longer Skye rambles, the more weary May feels. She, for one, is glad for the darkness. Finally, May cuts her off. "What do you want?"

Skye fidgets, and then takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier. I think, because you saved my life that day we first met and because you're so effortlessly badass, I have this idealized version of who you are and how you should act. And that's not fair. Even though you're not warm and fuzzy, you're not a lost cause, either, after Bahrain. Deep down--"

"What did you say," spat May, in a whisper, barely above noise of her memories as they gather strength.

"I said, you're not a lost cause. Which sounds like an insult, but which I honestly meant as a compliment. Really."

"What did you say. About Bahrain," May repeats slowly, to keep her voice from shaking. 

"Look, Coulson and I both care a lot about you," stammers Skye, her face wide and sincere. "Whatever went down in Bahrain, it doesn't have to be that way. We can help. You can change--be the person you used to be."

May stands up so suddenly, Skye falls silent. 

"You need to stop, now." May hisses, with barely restrained anger. "I don't care who you think I was or who I ought to be. That's none of your business. I'm not the Cavalry, I don't need to be warm and fuzzy, and I'm certainly not going to baby you the way Coulson does. You need to accept that and leave well enough alone."

She can't recall the last time she's raised her voice like this, but it feels so good that she doesn't stop, not even when she sees tears streaking down Skye's face. May keeps raging long after Skye's fled the room and she's run out of words to say. 

The next morning, she wakes up exhausted in the pilot's chair to find a standard issue SHIELD blanket draped over her and a disapproving Phil Coulson in the co-pilot's seat. Judging from the light in the sky, she's overslept well into mid-morning. Another thing she hasn't done in forever.

Part of May just wants to crawl under her blanket and never come out again. The other part wills herself to look Phil steadily in the eye, even though she is full of regret.

Phil just shakes his head and hands her a water bottle. "What happened last night? Why were you so hard on Skye? Are you feeling okay to fly?"

"Are those questions in diminishing priority," May retorts, before taking a sip. Phil watches her with pursed lips as she slowly drains the entire bottle. "I assume Fitz has made the necessary repairs?"

When Phil nods, May sighs. "I shouldn't have lost my temper last night. Once I have the plane in the air and gathered my thoughts, I'll talk to Skye."

Phil doesn't seem convinced, but he gives her their next coordinates. "Are you sure you're okay?"

May flips a few switches in reply, and the avionics console hums to life. As she looks out from the windshield, she sees her reflection, and the deep bags under her eyes. 

Coulson shakes his head and then stand up as if to leave. He crosses his arms instead. "I wish you'd look out for her more. She's more like you than you think."

There's no need to ask who "she" is. It's the last thing Coulson says to her about the matter before he's kidnapped by Centipede.

His words haunt her again when Skye gets shot and hovers on the brink of death. 

And then again when Ward's betrayal sends Skye adrift.

It's then that May finally reaches out to Skye. She can't be what Skye wants, but she can help keep Skye from losing herself. 

\---

Skye turns out to be an excellent pupil, driven and resilient. She survives a reunion with Ward, the traumatic encounter with her father, Tripp's death to the Diviner, and the new abilities the device foisted upon her. She mourns, she trains, and she grows.

After some time, Coulson thinks Skye is ready to return to the field, and when May privately checks in with Skye, the girl is confident, too.

So they go on their mission, Skye's first since San Juan.

They do everything right, but even with Skye watching her back as surely as she is watching Skye's, they still find themselves outnumbered. Trapped in a corridor with nowhere to go, they can't hold off Hydra's oncoming attack any longer. May only hopes they gave Fitz, Simmons, and Bobbi enough time to escape from the bunker with the civilians. 

Skye shoots down two agents, takes a hit in the shoulder, and throws May a frantic glance as May realizes Skye's icer is clean out of rounds. A quick scan of their surroundings confirm there's no other way out. Grimly, May makes the call and Skye screams as she brings the bunker walls down upon them.

\--

When Skye comes to, she has no sense how much time has passed. Her head pounds, an aftereffect of using her powers, but she forces herself to think. The last thing she recalls is a giant steel beam falling towards her and then May shoving her out of harm's way. 

Ignoring the dull pain in her shoulder, Skye picks herself up from the rubble and tentatively calls for her S.O. When she doesn't hear an answer, she tries every calming technique she's ever learned from May.

Feeling her way around, Skye eventually finds the fallen beam, and May underneath. With shaking fingers, she slips two fingers against May's neck. Her hands are trembling so badly, she almost misses May's pulse, thready but regular. 

When Skye draws her hand away, her fingers are slick with blood. May's bleeding from a deep gash on her forehead, and her arm looks broken in two places. There's bone peeking out through the skin. Worse, May is firmly pinned from the hip down by the steel beam. 

There's no question of moving May to safety. Help will have to come to them. Skye activates the tracking beacon built into her SHIELD uniform, and tries to keep herself from panicking as she waits. Gradually, she starts to talk aloud in order to reassure herself.

"I can't hear anyone but us, so I think it's safe to say that Hydra has been reduced to rubble," Skye begins, but feels a little queasy at the thought, so she changes the subject. "Help is on the way. Coulson's probably driving a bulldozer to our location as I speak. We're at the north perimeter of the bunker when it fell, so he should be able to dig us out in no time. Half a day at the max. Just…hang in there."

May looks otherworldly pale and she still hasn't woken up. Skye begins to worry about blood loss, and whether there's internal bleeding. With fumbling fingers, she tears off the sleeve of her combat uniform.

"When we're back on the Bus," Skye rambles, as she applies pressure on May's head wound, "Simmons will give you a blood transfusion. I don't know how much you've lost, but I'm Type O, same as you. I used to think that was important, that we had the same blood. 

"Simmons said it meant our red blood cells don't have any antigens on them." Skye chuckles in spite of herself when she realizes she's said "antigens" in an English accent. "In other words, our red blood cells look exactly the same under the microscope, us and 39% of all Asians."

Skye leans in so she's huddled protectively over May's still form. "This is going to sound ridiculous, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's embarrassing enough to make you crack a smile. You probably wouldn't have guessed it because I was subtle, but when I first joined SHIELD to find my parents, I thought you could have been my mom." 

Skye laughs softly. "Fitzsimmons and I used to joke about it. You and Coulson, team mom and dad. Only, I wasn't joking. That's why we butted heads so often in the early days. That night in the cockpit, you were right; I wanted you to be someone you couldn't be--the idealized version of the mom I longed for as a child."

May stirs ever so slightly, but doesn't wake. 

"I know you were really concerned about me after San Juan, after I met my psychotic father. And found out what happened to my mother. But she loved me fiercely, and I have a mentor who's just as protective. Not everyone is that lucky. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends." On impulse, Skye grabs May's hand, cold as stone, and gives it a squeeze. "You'd never let me do this if you were awake. So I'm going to keep holding your hand until you stop me." 

It would have been a perfect moment if May had squeezed her hand back, but it's not until after Bobbi and Coulson have rescued them and May's finally stable in a hospital bed that Skye is able to recount to May their conversation back in the collapsed bunker. Well, her monologue. 

As Skye begins, May looks thoughtful and reaches out to clasp Skye's hand. "What you said that day, I thought I had imagined it."

"So you were awake after all?" gasps Skye, in mock horror. "And you just let me babble on and on? I poured out my soul to you!"

"I was in and out," May smirks, then grows serious. "It helped to hear your voice."

"But I could have talked about bloody antigens the whole time and you would have done just as well! Or genetic markers, because according to Simmons, that's the part people actually compare during DNA tests to determine maternity."

Skye is pleased when May actually laughs. "Simmons would be impressed you still remember that."

"I thought it would be important."

May looks like she's beginning to tire, but she forces herself to sit upright on her cot. "Coulson says Simmons gave me a blood transfusion en route to the hospital. Your blood."

"Yeah, antigen-free and all," laughs Skye. 

"I used to say SHIELD was no substitute for a family, but it's rather symbolic, isn't it?" says May, quietly. "The same blood, running through our veins. It's true now" 

Skye's crying before she knows it, and Jemma, who's waiting outside with a tray of biscuits and warm Horlicks, rushes in all confused. Unperturbed by the commotion, May doesn't protest when their little gathering turns into an impromptu Pride and Prejudice marathon, although she does fall asleep before the first DVD ends. Meanwhile, Jemma is completely engrossed by the storyline, even though she's seen it hundreds of times before. 

As Skye surveys the room, her eyes linger on each of her friends, but she no longer stares. There's no need to gauge if and how these people could fit into her life. They're already part of hers, and she's deeply part of theirs. It's not what she imagined when she infiltrated SHIELD, but she wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
